לא היו ימים טובים לישראל כחמשה עשר באב וכיום הכיפורים
As Yom Kippur approaches, I find myself busy answering calls and calming my clients who anxiously ask, "What should I do? Yom Kippur is COMING!!" This sentiment seems quite different from the parable we read above, which considers Yom Kippur one of the Jewish calendar's greatest days.
Rav Fanger provides an answer to this dichotomy. He explains that having a day to cleanse our souls and start anew is one of the greatest acts of Chesed (kindness) that H'shem can do for us. The correct approach to this day is to discard all our misdeeds and mistakes from the past year through genuine repentance.
In return, H'shem cleanses our souls, allowing us to begin afresh. This cleansing process is accomplished by sincerely approaching H'shem with regret, love, and resolutions to improve ourselves. Rav Fanger emphasizes that our most potent tool is our mouth. With it, we beseech H'shem for our lives and future. However, our mouths must be clean for the message to be properly received.
It's important to note that wrongs we've caused to our fellow aren't erased merely by repenting to. We must correct these individually by seeking forgiveness from those we've wronged. Now is the time to review our relationships with family, neighbors, friends, and coworkers to ensure we haven't hurt or slighted any of them.
If you're holding a grudge, recognize that it's weighing you down and affecting your health. Rav Fanger teaches that there are two sides to every disagreement, and often an acceptable explanation exists that can allow forgiveness and the release of hurt. If you're nervous about calling someone for fear of being scolded, remember that in Judaism, we learn that H'shem takes the side of the one being "chased." So even if you face criticism, you'll have H'shem on your side – and what more could we ask for?
The past few years have given the entire world a different perspective on life. Most of us now take our health, finances, and freedom of movement less for granted. We should channel this feeling into letting go of petty arguments and hurts, recognizing that our future isn't entirely in our control.
Rav Fanger shares a poignant story from the 9/11 ceremonies. A couple had a fight on the morning of September 11th, resulting in the husband leaving angrily. When he called later, his wife, still furious, let the voicemail pick up. A little while later she watched the towers collapse on TV, and she realized her husband was inside. She quickly tried his phone but there was no answer. She played the voice message and heard his final words. He said how much he loved her and regretted getting angry. She then heard the horrifying sound of the towers crumbling.
This story reminds us that life isn't about being right, but about living each moment the right way. Now is the time to correct our wrongs and enter Yom Kippur with H'shem on our side.
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