Last Rosh Hashana, the amount of pleasure you'd receive this year was determined, but not how much you'd enjoy it. Similarly, the suffering you'd endure was decreed, but not how much you'd suffer, according to H'Rav Fanger.
Could we have everything, yet nothing? Or nothing, yet everything? What determines happiness in the worst conditions and sadness in the best? Tony Robbins suggests it's your life's "blueprint." If you match it, you're happy. The further you stray, the more miserable you become, regardless of circumstances.
Consider: Have you met someone overweight and content, or thin but constantly dieting? Someone "wealthy" always complaining about money, or someone scraping by but satisfied? This mini-survey illustrates that happiness is a state of mind.
If your blueprint dictates you should be "x" (married, financially stable, fitter) and you're not, can you be happy despite other joys? When you view life as a divine gift and everything in it as a means to serve G-d, your life gains purpose, knowing you have all you need to excel.
Communication: Your state of mind shows in how you express it. Examine your "mission statements." Do others see you as content or critical? By redefining achievements as progress and moral qualities rather than status and material gains, your communication will reflect joy in both expression and heart.
Self-Improvement: Striving for an ideal "blueprint" can hinder growth. Ensure your goals foster happiness, not neighbor-impressing.
Emuna, Bitachon, and Kavana: One grounded in trust and belief in H'shem's control radiates joy in all aspects of life. Rabbenu Bachya teaches that the ultimate goal of Emuna and Bitachon is living calmly and happily, knowing H'shem controls and decides what's best for you.
Chazal teaches that a Tefilah filled with happiness, joy, and gratitude, as in Nishmat Kol Chai, where you recognize and praise H'shem for His wonders and generosity, is the ultimate Tefilah.
Remember to say:
תהלים כז: לדוד ה' אורי וישעי
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