13- ABC

Mastering Emotional Control: A Practical Guide

We all desire emotional mastery, yet swearing off anger entirely is impractical. So, how can we effectively manage our feelings and reactions? Is there a formula, and if so, how do we apply it?

Rav Yitzchak Fanger and Positive Psychology.org recommend the ABC model from Albert Elis's REBT therapy. This theory posits that our reactions stem not from events themselves but from the meaning we assign to them. Our perception of an incident, its interpretation, and its perceived impact on us shape our response.

To improve emotional control:

1. Pause before reacting

2. Consider multiple explanations, including positive ones

3. Respond thoughtfully and intelligently

This approach helps maintain composure even in stressful situations, preserving your dignity and self-respect.

Key Strategies:

1. Communicate:
Before jumping to conclusions, investigate the facts. Explore various theories about others' behavior and potential outcomes. Avoid hasty retaliation. Instead, engage in open dialogue: discuss, explain, and resolve issues mindfully.

2. Self-Improvement:
Focus on cultivating positive thinking and patience. Practice slowing down your impulses, allowing situations to unfold naturally without immediate intervention.

3. Faith, Trust, and Prayer:
Recognize a higher power's role in life's events. Before reacting, ask yourself:

   - "What am I meant to learn from this?"

   - "Could this be a test leading to personal growth?"

 Developing faith and trust helps you find positive aspects in every situation. Consider adopting a ritual of prayer before reacting, creating a pause that enables more beneficial responses.

By implementing these strategies, you'll develop greater emotional control, leading to more positive outcomes in challenging situations.

Remember to say

תהלים כז: לדוד ה' אורי וישעי